an epilogue to the most beautiful story ever or an elegy for the unexpectedly early leave?

i know deep inside that mister x will disappear if i look at him more than two seconds. yes, this simply is the gist of the story. while just two seconds are enough to create a whole new universe, i ask humbly, what kind of a justice is that? as you all can guess, there is no proper answer to this question. or even if there is, my ears are filled with a noise-proof material to hinter my hearing ability.
mister x comes and goes away as usual. he comes, presents a smile and says "hi" without waiting for me to be the first one to greet. i'm ok with this as this is his job and/or he is a mister x. a classical, conditional behaviour for a mister x. the question is "where am i in this story?" then comes the answer ringing: "nowhere or everywhere".
* oh, were you behind me? so, would you be kind enough to clarify, mister x?
& clarify what?
* i'm terribly sick of those shaky grounds. where is the nearest possible way to the realm of the safe and sound?
& you? are you talking about the safe and sound? with that queer winking of your heart?
* you, you are so cruel! even to the degree... anyway.
& no, please go on. i really, really want to hear the truth that are sealed between your lips.
* no, mister, no. sorry, but impossible, you know. as the saying goes: no more no never again...
(the girl smiles, the man laughs uncontrollably. as usual.)
& true, but what about that notorious winking? hard to live with it, huh?
* exactly, but there are limits, sir. usual borders. no tresspassing!
& borders? what borders?
* wall of sanity at first, then the veil of respect that covers your objective sight (or maybe i should say, insight), and also the sound of accumulated lullabies in your ears. by the way, this third reason is the real one to filter all knowledge of winking of every kind from your ears.
& but, you were talking about a dream you had last week?
* oh, that beautiful work of my imagination. but it can bring only pain, sir. just visualize the scene. just do it for a second, then you will immediately agree with me.
& what if i say i can support you? as this is my job, you know.
(he smiles, she becomes mute, looks at his eyes.)
* mister x, it was really nice to meet you, but it is time to leave.
& oh, no. please. don't... please.
* one last thing. will you disappear if i touch you?
& i don't know, what do you think?
(she turns her head towards the door for a moment, then the hook of the man's eye captures the young girl again.)
"try", says the man. "there is nothing to lose".
"actually, there is", says the girl. "there is one thing to lose: the possibility of seeing you again".
& but, will you need this? do you want to see me again? then why are you leaving?
* i don't know. you? do you want to see me again?
& yes, yes of course.
* then slow down please. the midway of life is knocking at the door.
(the man looks at the girl with compassion in his eyes. he comes near her by only two steps, strokes her hair and kisses her gently from the forehead.)
& hurry up, sweetheart, you hurry up. i'm no superman, you know. i can't stop the overspeedy trains with my bare hands. look, they are too small and slender.
(the man laughs uncontrollably upon this. the girl looks at his eyes for the last time.)
"good bye, young woman", says the man.
"good bye, old boy", says the girl.
the curtain falls down as usual. lights go out, bla bla bla.


in the manner of writing over the water with an invisible pen.


temmuz/08